Becoming a mother is a Rite of Passage full of both celebration and grief. Rarely do mothers have the opportunity to process this monumental identity shift -their Matrescence- in a way that uncovers and honors the complex feelings that accompany it. Going back to how motherhood began by working through any difficult experiences around conception, pregnancy, birth, postpartum or loss of any kind offers a mother a coherent story that can be the foundation for increased capacity, joy and resiliency going forward, for both mother and child.
Matrescence- the profound and continuously unfolding process of becoming a mother
Sun Portal drawn by MayaSol, age 7
When we can sift through our matrescence experience we are gifted an opportunity to grow and heal. This may happen in the first few years of mothering when we are painfully aware of how our challenges and losses in becoming a mother are impacting our self-image and connection with our child.
In some cases, it may not be until many years later that we realize we need to process our early experiences related to becoming a mother. Many parents feel like their relationship has been strained with their child since the beginning but they hope it will get better on its own, silently blaming themselves or their child when the connection doesn’t improve as their child develops. Often, when an anniversary or a reminder of a difficult early motherhood moment comes around years later or our child reaches a challenging developmental milestone like weaning, starting school, medical diagnosis or adolescence, the negative self beliefs about ourselves and the struggles with positively relating to our child further strain our relationship with our child causing parent burnout and reduced efficacy precisely when our child needs us most.
The aspects of Matrescence that benefit from tender-hearted support:
PRE-CONCEPTION: generational experiences of birth and loss that impact a mother’s confidence
CONCEPTION: infertility, conflicted feelings, lack of choice, lack of support
PREGNANCY: difficulties, miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, termination for medical reasons
BIRTH: lack of support, highly medicalized, traumatic events
POSTPARTUM: mother/baby separation, lack of support system, breastfeeding/chestfeeding difficulties, medical challenges, delayed development
Mothers deserve to be treated gently and intentionally. We need support that puts respectful listening of the heart, mind, body and spirit at the core of our care. Based on my own healing experience along the path of parenthood, I have sought to become a resource for parents as a trauma-informed, social justice motherhood supporter.
With full respect for each individual’s potential for healing, along with somatic tools, solutions focused strategies, and the symbolic tools of storytelling, ritual and ceremony, I help mothers move into new perspectives and actions based on their story of motherhood.
We can care for our motherhood experience in a way that builds our capacity to be the mother we want to be and the one our child needs.
I would be honored to support your Matrescence. I can help in the following ways.
One on one Support
The Matrescence Support Package
(see information below)
Community Gatherings
Building Support by building community
(group experiences coming soon)
The Matrescence Support Package
This package consists of a tenderly curated journey of 5 sessions focused on tending to your Mother Self by processing motherhood and enhancing the bond with your child. This is for mothers with children of any age because we are never done becoming a mother or carrying the difficult stories related to our early experiences. By doing this deep and efficient work, you will transform your self image and have an increased capacity to help your child heal from their own difficult experiences. With reverence for your unique story and a strong bond with your child, you will know a level of connection that is deeply nourishing.
A description of each session is offered below.
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90 minute session focused on uncovering the landscape of your Matrescence in order to release, reclaim and restore
This session is for reflecting on and working through any emotionally distressing experiences related to becoming a mother. Conception, pregnancy, birth, the postpartum time and loss of any kind can be challenging, creating feelings of guilt and regret that leave a lasting residue on your self-image and your relationship with your child. By allowing the pain to be released, you will have an opportunity to intentionally reclaim yourself and restore a sense of faith in yourself and your ability to mother well.
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120 minute bespoke ceremony focused on helping you grieve, celebrate and expand your perspective of your Matrescence story.
Ceremony and Ritual are powerful avenues for transformation. By engaging in personally relevant, symbolic ways to grieve fully, celebrate fiercely you will expand your vision of yourself and your motherhood. This embodied way of being with your story will offer an expansion of your vision of and for yourself through storytelling, activation of the senses, music and movement.
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60 minute session focused on internalizing and anchoring the new self beliefs and behaviors you want to carry forward in your parenting.
By focusing on shifts in thoughts and behaviors, I will help you identify practical and symbolic resources for your continued growth forward including how to enhance your connection with your child.
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60-75 minute session with your child focused on holding space for you to connect and bond while working on processing any difficult early experiences in a playful, gentle, developmentally appropriate way.
With exquisite attunement, I will be with you as you tend to your bond with your child. With support, you will re-knit the fabric of your connection, re-pairing any relational pieces that need attention.
If you are working on your mothering experience related to pregnancy or infant loss, you can use this session to connect with the baby that has left, the baby who is to be, or any child who also experienced the loss with you.
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60 minute session focused on the mindsets, strategies and resources to support your relationship with yourself and your child going forward.
This session will introduce you to the mindsets and concrete strategies to continue building, nurturing and repairing your relationship with your Mother Self and your child going forward. Drawing on connection strategies from Hand in Hand Parenting, mindfulness and trauma informed practices, the intention with this session is to fill your tool box for care of self and care of your child as you develop your capacity to be your child's Appreciator, Anchor, Protector and Guide.
As a way to make sure you benefit deeply from your commitment to caring for your Mother Self by engaging in this process, you will get:
Personalized notes after each session that will include resources in the form of books, videos, podcasts and practices
A 10 minute spontaneous support call between each session that can be used to process feelings, receive encouragement or get coaching
Have questions? Wondering if this is the right fit for you at this time? Or are you ready to get started?
Book a free 30 minute introductory session to get a sense of each other and the process of working together.
“I describe my work with Magdalena as postpartum emotional healing with her as my guide. The difference between what she does to what a therapist does is the embodied part, the ceremony piece, which is unique. It’s the missing piece from what’s available out there. We need more of these embodied rites of passage rituals where you can look back and say there was a before and after of my experience of becoming a mother. I was one way before and now I’m one way after. The psychological tool of marking this shift is really important. What I got in the ceremony is an anchor for who I am and a reminder of where I want to operate from. I feel much more settled in my relationship with my child. I feel like I’m much better at knowing what she needs now and am really enjoying her.”
“I am really grateful to have the blessing of processing the birth story of my first daughter with Magdalena. After working with her, I feel like there is more magic and awe and even sturdiness in my parenting. She was such a safe place to go with my heavy feelings of being a mom. She helped me expose and analyze my thoughts and feelings in a really curious way and somehow, which is what I think is her magic power, helped me find the thread through it all, making my story cohesive, relevant and uniquely mine. Somehow she could isolate in a few words what needed to be addressed. Instead of these things being buried, through her ability to help me think symbolically, challenges were literally turned upside down into something I overcame to be proud of. Now, instead of carrying this ball and chain along of a difficult beginning to becoming a mother, it’s more like- here is this canvas with all of these things and it’s all our story”
“What Magdalena does so naturally is help me access the parts of me that know what is right and needed because she believes that all mothers have what they need already. Helping touch into it is her gift. Once she helps me touch into my power, she helps make sense of it and gives it life through words.”
Book A Free Initial Conversation
Book a call and discuss your support needs with Magdalena